It's been another week. I'm not sure how I'm doing. The tears have dried up the past few days, still no panic attacks, but I still don't feel... normal. I really feel numb. Like I'm in survival mode with the auto-pilot switch turned on.
I've been mindful that today is Isaac's baptism. I'm sad because I know Chrishel would have wanted to be there. I wonder if she was, in fact, present in spirit? If so, was she saddened that she could not be there in person? She would be so proud of him. And so proud of Tim for carrying through for the both of them. I texted Tim to ask how the day went today, and he said it went as well as it could have, but Chrishel's absence was noticeable. Family support has been good, so I'm sure he's relieved about having all her family around...
I want to post about the funeral, but I'm soooo tired. Soon. ANd then I will take down the condolence cards and her funeral program that have been sitting atop the piano in my living room since.
courage for the week 10.15.17
3 days ago