Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Whose celebration is it, anyway?

Every time our son Caleb has a birthday, I secretly celebrate my own sanity on that date. On July 19, our third child turned 4.

Let me recount a few highlights of our life with the DESTROYING ANGEL.

April 2007.... While I was showering, he stuck a fingernail file in the ignition of our van and locked the tumblers so the car wouldn't start.

May 2007....Also while I was showering, he came and stood outside the shower door with a match lit. He blew it out with glee, and dropped the match on the floor and proceeded to clap. After I scurried out of the shower (no longer a privilege during waking hours), he showed me the pile he had lit and piled up in the corner.

Circa Spring 2007....Caleb pushed a kitchen chair over to the stove and turned the burners on. He also reorganized the spices and spilled a Mega-pack of toothpicks all over the stove. That was already hot.

June 2007....Caleb dumped sunscreen all over the sofa, dumped the sugar bowl all over the floor, spilled his scrambled eggs, danced in the eggs, and destroyed a pack of diaper wipes by pulling them out one by one around his room and dried them out. All before 9:30 a.m.

Also June 2007....Caleb got a fold up chair out, put it in the master closet, climbed on it, reached JP's keys, took them out to the garage and started up the 4-Wheeler.

July 2007....Caleb's diaper turned up the following objects in the past year:
1. 17 pieces of wintergreen gum (By the way, the stool smells...minty...and has the consistency of taffy)
2. a cigarette butt
3. firecracker remnant

August 2007....I had to call Poison Control twice for him during that month.

September 2007...Caleb disappeared on a Sunday afternoon and was unaccounted for for 30 minutes. 6 adult neighbors helped us canvas the area. He was found 2 blocks away in a construction site.

late September 2007....Caleb scoops butter in the toaster, turns it on and starts a fire.

November 2007....Caleb was found 'washing' Lizzie's hair in the toilet.

November 2007....JP found a naked Barbie with Desitin all over her bottom.

July 2009....Neighbor called to say she found Caleb and his nemesis urinating down her slide. And in her camping cooler. Not cool.

God bless our family for raising The Terror. 2007 gives new, deeper meaning to the child development phrase "The Terrible Two's".

Fortunately, we can't imagine life without him.


MadMadameMim said...

That is so good. And I didn't know that Caleb and I shared a birthday.

It is always great to hear to crazy funny stories of other children. fortunately I haven't had one quite so entertaining yet, but I did have a brother :).

I hope it gets better ;)

Jessica said...

I so had to read this list aloud to Devin and we both laughed. Hee hee!

Jessica said...

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Buffy said...

Good thing he is so cute :) he keeps you running.

Sharee said...

If this is what I have to look forward to with a boy, count me out. You are a very patient and loving mother. I look up to you and your example.

Anonymous said...

I hope our child is as fun as yours! I enjoyed reading your list.